1
00:00:00,180 --> 00:00:02,160
♪♪

2
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:12,050
[Jacqueline] There was great joy
at Convent San Tanco

3
00:01:12,050 --> 00:01:15,210
that lovely spring day
in April.

4
00:01:15,210 --> 00:01:17,040
Sister Jacqueline,

5
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,020
Sister Sixto,
Sister Bertrille!

6
00:01:19,020 --> 00:01:23,040
Come here, Sisters, quickly.
I have something to show you.

7
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:27,100
The reason for our happiness
was a check for 5000 dollars

8
00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:29,110
donated to Convent San Tanco

9
00:01:29,110 --> 00:01:32,050
by a certain
señor Juan Hernando.

10
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,140
The figures swam
before my eyes.

11
00:01:34,140 --> 00:01:37,010
So many lovely zeros.

12
00:01:37,010 --> 00:01:40,140
As our spirits soared over
this unexpected windfall,

13
00:01:40,140 --> 00:01:43,040
Sister Bertrille
just soared.

14
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,030
Come down, Sister.
Come down!

15
00:01:56,030 --> 00:01:58,060
Reverend Mother
wants to talk to us.

16
00:01:58,060 --> 00:01:59,220
About the big banana.

17
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,100
Bonanza, Sister.
Bonanza.

18
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,100
Oh, we're going to
watch television?

19
00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:05,010
She's going
to open up the jar

20
00:02:05,010 --> 00:02:06,130
of homemade
brandied peaches

21
00:02:06,130 --> 00:02:08,130
she's been saving
to celebrate.

22
00:02:08,130 --> 00:02:12,000
Sister Bertrille
may be aerodynamically sound,

23
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,130
but like any airliner,

24
00:02:13,130 --> 00:02:15,100
she is occasionally
at the mercy

25
00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:17,080
of that old devil, wind.

26
00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:20,060
[crashing]

27
00:02:22,110 --> 00:02:23,230
Get a ladder, Sister.

28
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:25,110
Wait there.
Don't go away.

29
00:02:29,170 --> 00:02:31,000
[fabric ripping]

30
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,110
Sister Sixto, hurry.

31
00:02:35,050 --> 00:02:36,130
Going my way?

32
00:02:42,210 --> 00:02:44,190
♪♪

33
00:02:52,070 --> 00:02:53,190
[all laughing]

34
00:02:53,190 --> 00:02:55,110
Oh, I just love
brandied peaches.

35
00:02:55,110 --> 00:02:57,150
I thought only cattle
is brandied?

36
00:02:58,190 --> 00:03:01,040
A toast
to  señor  Hernando.

37
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:02,230
[all] Here!
Here!

38
00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:05,160
I think we've all
had one peach too many.

39
00:03:06,140 --> 00:03:08,080
You still haven't told us

40
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:09,170
who  señor  Hernando is.

41
00:03:09,170 --> 00:03:11,110
I still don't know
who he is.

42
00:03:11,110 --> 00:03:13,050
Our Convent records show

43
00:03:13,050 --> 00:03:14,120
that a boy by that name

44
00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,120
was raised here
in the orphanage.

45
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,060
That was before my time.

46
00:03:18,060 --> 00:03:20,070
When he was 17,
he left the Convent

47
00:03:20,070 --> 00:03:21,110
to seek his fortune.

48
00:03:21,110 --> 00:03:22,190
[Sixto] He sure did.

49
00:03:22,190 --> 00:03:25,110
5000 dollars
is not grass, you know?

50
00:03:25,110 --> 00:03:26,200
Hay, Sister.

51
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,110
That's what I say.
Hey, Sister,

52
00:03:28,110 --> 00:03:30,070
what are we gonna do
with that money?

53
00:03:30,070 --> 00:03:32,030
How about a new stove?

54
00:03:32,030 --> 00:03:34,200
Buy new cushions for
the prayer benches. Soft ones.

55
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,210
Oh, yes. That means there'll be
a lot more praying done.

56
00:03:37,210 --> 00:03:39,060
Build a new playground.

57
00:03:39,060 --> 00:03:41,020
Oh, and buy
a new station wagon.

58
00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:42,120
Mmm. Mmm.

59
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,110
A television set. Color.

60
00:03:44,110 --> 00:03:46,030
Don't forget
the remote control.

61
00:03:46,030 --> 00:03:48,010
Sisters.
Sisters, I promise

62
00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:50,230
that I will take all of your
suggestions under advisement.

63
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:53,200
In the meantime, I think
it would be a good idea

64
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,150
if you, Sister Jacqueline,
or Sister Bertrille,

65
00:03:56,150 --> 00:03:58,150
drive into town
and deposit the check.

66
00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,060
Why don't we both go?

67
00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:03,070
Sister Jacqueline could drive,
and I could ride shotgun.

68
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:05,210
You think the old heap
will start?

69
00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:08,040
We haven't got much time
before the bank closes.

70
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,230
I hope so. I'd be worried
carrying this till Monday.

71
00:04:10,230 --> 00:04:12,220
Where did you put it?
My pocket.

72
00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:14,210
Do you think
that's a safe place for it?

73
00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:17,010
Did you ever hear
of anyone losing a pocket?

74
00:04:17,010 --> 00:04:19,120
On the other hand,
there's always a first time.

75
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:22,040
[wind blowing]

76
00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,070
[all exclaiming]

77
00:04:29,130 --> 00:04:31,160
[all chattering]

78
00:04:37,060 --> 00:04:40,080
I've heard of a check bouncing,
but this is ridiculous.

79
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,010
Sister Bertrille,
prepare for takeoff.

80
00:04:43,010 --> 00:04:44,150
Roger and out.

81
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,010
That a boy.

82
00:04:56,030 --> 00:04:58,120
Come on, give it here now.

83
00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:03,080
Well, you can't even cash it.
It isn't endorsed.

84
00:05:05,090 --> 00:05:08,120
Come back here,
you embezzler!

85
00:05:39,230 --> 00:05:42,170
Drop that check.
You understand?

86
00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:47,040
Drop that check
this very instant.

87
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,190
Oh, no.

88
00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,080
Now he listens to me.

89
00:06:08,050 --> 00:06:11,080
Excuse me, ma'am.
Excuse me. I got it.

90
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,210
Oh, I got it.

91
00:06:12,210 --> 00:06:14,220
It's only scorched
a little bit down here

92
00:06:14,220 --> 00:06:17,090
where the signature is...
Was.

93
00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:20,000
Now what are we gonna do?

94
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,230
How about crying?

95
00:06:21,230 --> 00:06:22,210
Oh...

96
00:06:24,130 --> 00:06:26,210
Oh, excuse us.

97
00:06:28,050 --> 00:06:30,040
Enjoy your dinner.

98
00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:31,180
Goodbye.

99
00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:38,030
[Jacqueline] And there was no address
or phone number on his note?

100
00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:39,140
Unfortunately, no.

101
00:06:39,140 --> 00:06:41,170
We could call the bank.
They're sure to know

102
00:06:41,170 --> 00:06:43,190
who Juan Hernando is.
[Reverend Mother] Yes, we can.

103
00:06:43,190 --> 00:06:45,160
When it opens on Monday.

104
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,210
Oh. For all we know,
Juan Hernando

105
00:06:47,210 --> 00:06:49,230
might leave this island
over the weekend.

106
00:06:49,230 --> 00:06:51,230
A man as rich as he is
could go away

107
00:06:51,230 --> 00:06:53,150
and not come back
for months.

108
00:06:53,150 --> 00:06:55,200
Sisters, you're all missing
the important point.

109
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:58,050
I don't think you should let
a whole weekend go by

110
00:06:58,050 --> 00:06:59,200
without thanking
señor  Hernando

111
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,160
for his generosity,
it's not polite.

112
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:04,130
[Reverend Mother] A very excellent suggestion,
Sister Bertrille.

113
00:07:04,130 --> 00:07:06,150
But how do you propose
we implement it?

114
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:11,200
Reverend Mother, may I
borrow your telephone book?

115
00:07:19,150 --> 00:07:21,150
Here's his name.

116
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:24,060
And here. And here. And here.

117
00:07:24,060 --> 00:07:25,130
It seems Juan Hernando

118
00:07:25,130 --> 00:07:27,010
is the John Smith
of Puerto Rico.

119
00:07:27,010 --> 00:07:30,000
Well, there's only
one thing to do.

120
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:37,030
With a little bit of luck,
and a lot of patience,

121
00:07:37,030 --> 00:07:38,130
we just might find him.

122
00:07:38,130 --> 00:07:40,140
[phone dialing]

123
00:07:40,140 --> 00:07:42,220
Hello?
This is Sister Bertrille

124
00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:44,220
of the Convent San Tanco.

125
00:07:44,220 --> 00:07:48,030
I-I'm looking for
Juan Hernando.

126
00:07:48,030 --> 00:07:49,220
Oh.

127
00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:51,190
Uh-huh.

128
00:07:51,190 --> 00:07:55,040
Well, thank you very much,
Mrs. Hernando.

129
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,150
She's looking for him, too.
Has been for ten years.

130
00:07:58,150 --> 00:08:01,120
May I suggest a more
scientific approach,

131
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:04,200
such as starting at the top
and working your way down?

132
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:07,150
Oh, good idea.
Why didn't I think of it?

133
00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:10,050
Keep your fingers crossed,
girls.

134
00:08:13,020 --> 00:08:15,060
Uh. Hello?
This is Sister Bertrille

135
00:08:15,060 --> 00:08:16,180
of the Convent San Tanco.

136
00:08:16,180 --> 00:08:19,200
May I please speak
with  señor  Juan Hernando?

137
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:23,040
Oh.
When will he be out?

138
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,040
Five years?

139
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:28,190
Cheer up. Maybe he'll get
time off for good behavior.

140
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,020
[ringing]

141
00:08:43,010 --> 00:08:44,160
Hello.

142
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:46,120
Yes, yes,
this is Juan Hernando.

143
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,050
Uh, this is Sister Bertrille
of the Convent San Tanco.

144
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:51,140
Yes, Sister.
What can I do for you?

145
00:08:51,140 --> 00:08:53,150
Well, first
I wanna make sure

146
00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:55,070
you're
the real  señor  Hernando.

147
00:08:55,070 --> 00:08:58,020
Yes.
I am the real  señor  Hernando.

148
00:08:58,020 --> 00:08:59,140
The orphan?

149
00:08:59,140 --> 00:09:01,020
Yes, you could say that.
Mmm-hmm.

150
00:09:01,020 --> 00:09:03,190
And, and you were
raised by the Sisters?

151
00:09:06,090 --> 00:09:08,000
Yes, you could say that also.

152
00:09:09,110 --> 00:09:10,180
He's an orphan.

153
00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:12,030
He's the real Juan Hernando.

154
00:09:12,030 --> 00:09:14,010
I found him.
I found him.

155
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:18,040
Yes. Yes, Sister,
I am still here,

156
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:21,150
but I am very, very busy.
Perhaps you could...

157
00:09:21,150 --> 00:09:22,220
What are you doing?

158
00:09:22,220 --> 00:09:24,180
I am taking this typewriter.

159
00:09:24,180 --> 00:09:26,050
You can't do that.

160
00:09:26,050 --> 00:09:28,190
Do you have the money
you still owe on it?

161
00:09:28,190 --> 00:09:30,040
No, but...

162
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:33,110
Then I'm taking
this typewriter.

163
00:09:33,110 --> 00:09:36,020
Yes, Sister, yes, I am,
I am still on the line.

164
00:09:36,020 --> 00:09:38,200
Perhaps you could tell me
what is on your mind quickly.

165
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,180
I'm calling
about the donation.

166
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:43,000
Sit.

167
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,120
Yes, Sister, you were saying
something about a-a donation?

168
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,040
Yes.
The 5000 dollar check.

169
00:09:50,010 --> 00:09:51,210
Tell him we'll
bring it right over.

170
00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:53,030
Yes, if it's all right,

171
00:09:53,030 --> 00:09:54,200
we'd like to bring it
right over?

172
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,190
Sister, let me
try to understand

173
00:09:56,190 --> 00:09:58,060
what it is you are saying.

174
00:09:58,060 --> 00:10:01,100
You are saying,
if it is all right with me,

175
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:05,040
you are going to bring
the check for 5000 dollars?

176
00:10:06,140 --> 00:10:08,010
Yes.

177
00:10:08,010 --> 00:10:10,210
Of course it is
all right with me.

178
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:13,110
A miracle, a miracle.

179
00:10:13,110 --> 00:10:16,060
Señor  Hernando, I'd like to
explain what happened.

180
00:10:16,060 --> 00:10:19,070
Never mind. Tell me when you
get here, the sooner the better.

181
00:10:19,070 --> 00:10:21,040
Do you know
where San Rafael is?

182
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,010
I'll find it.

183
00:10:22,010 --> 00:10:24,110
It is just outside of San Juan.

184
00:10:24,110 --> 00:10:27,100
A little town of 3500 souls

185
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:30,010
and 260 donkeys.
How far away are you?

186
00:10:30,010 --> 00:10:32,180
Oh, about ten miles
as the crow flies.

187
00:10:32,180 --> 00:10:34,220
I'm talking
about decent crow.

188
00:10:36,020 --> 00:10:38,020
Now, listen to me
very carefully, Sister.

189
00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:41,030
I have a very important meeting
at my campaign headquarters

190
00:10:41,030 --> 00:10:43,130
at the corner of Alvarez
and Montenegro Streets.

191
00:10:43,130 --> 00:10:46,110
You will meet me there
and bring the check, yes?

192
00:10:46,110 --> 00:10:48,100
Well, yes.
But how will I recognize you?

193
00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:51,140
Sister, there is no need
for you to recognize me.

194
00:10:51,140 --> 00:10:54,000
I will recognize you.

195
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,050
Goodbye, Sister, and hurry.

196
00:10:56,050 --> 00:10:57,060
Bye.

197
00:10:57,060 --> 00:10:59,010
Do you know
what that means,

198
00:10:59,010 --> 00:11:00,120
señor  Tomas?

199
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,190
That the Sisters
of the Convent of San Tanco

200
00:11:02,190 --> 00:11:04,160
are supporting me
in my campaign.

201
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,020
Well, what'd he say?

202
00:11:06,020 --> 00:11:08,210
Well, he's giving us
a new check for 5000 dollars.

203
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:10,030
After what you have heard,

204
00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:12,030
you are still taking
back the typewriter?

205
00:11:12,030 --> 00:11:13,220
Only to go out to
the truck

206
00:11:13,220 --> 00:11:16,020
to get you
another one, Your Honor.

207
00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:18,120
For the next
Governor of Puerto Rico,

208
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:22,170
only a brand-new
electric typewriter will do.

209
00:11:32,170 --> 00:11:35,210
And, my friends,
I promise you

210
00:11:35,210 --> 00:11:38,040
that if I am elected Mayor,

211
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:43,110
I promise you that I
will keep my promises.

212
00:11:43,110 --> 00:11:46,230
I will build
a new super highway.

213
00:11:46,230 --> 00:11:49,180
A bridge
connecting the islands.

214
00:11:49,180 --> 00:11:51,230
And a football stadium.

215
00:11:53,010 --> 00:11:54,100
How will you get the money?

216
00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:57,120
By lowering the taxes,
that is how.

217
00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:00,170
Who will pay for all
these improvements?

218
00:12:01,190 --> 00:12:03,040
What is the question?
Oh, yes.

219
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,170
That is
a very good question. Yes.

220
00:12:05,170 --> 00:12:07,020
And I will answer it

221
00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:09,130
in my first
State of the Union message

222
00:12:09,130 --> 00:12:11,050
after I'm elected.

223
00:12:11,050 --> 00:12:13,060
The Sisters.
Tell them about the Sisters.

224
00:12:13,060 --> 00:12:15,020
Yes, yes,
I was just coming to that.

225
00:12:15,020 --> 00:12:18,130
And now, my dear friends,
you will be happy to learn

226
00:12:18,130 --> 00:12:21,190
that I am not only
the candidate of labor,

227
00:12:21,190 --> 00:12:23,080
and of management,

228
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:27,090
of the working class,
and of the propertied class,

229
00:12:27,090 --> 00:12:31,040
but also of that most sacred
of all institutions,

230
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,040
the church itself.

231
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:37,160
Yes, the church
as represented

232
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:41,040
by the Sisters
of the Convent of San Tanco.

233
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:44,030
Oh, I see
you do not believe me.

234
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:47,140
Well, what if I were to
tell you that at this moment,

235
00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:52,050
the Sisters are bringing to me
a check of 5000 dollars

236
00:12:52,050 --> 00:12:54,000
in support of my campaign?

237
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,110
[all murmuring]

238
00:12:55,110 --> 00:12:58,190
You would think that
I, honest Juan Hernando,

239
00:12:58,190 --> 00:13:00,230
am stretching the truth.

240
00:13:00,230 --> 00:13:02,180
[chuckles]

241
00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:05,030
Well, then, look,

242
00:13:05,030 --> 00:13:08,200
for the truth
comes marching on.

243
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,090
Excuse me.

244
00:13:11,180 --> 00:13:14,010
Sisters,
I am Juan Hernando

245
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:15,120
and I am delighted.

246
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,090
Oh, well,
we're glad to see you, too.

247
00:13:17,090 --> 00:13:20,020
Come. Come. You must share
the place of honor with me.

248
00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:22,040
Yes, my friends, look,
as I have promised,

249
00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:24,100
these Sisters...
Watch your step, Sisters.

250
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:27,030
Watch the step.
It is a very high step.

251
00:13:27,030 --> 00:13:30,030
I hope you have thought
of a few well-chosen words

252
00:13:30,030 --> 00:13:32,180
to say to my constituents.

253
00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:33,220
About what?

254
00:13:33,220 --> 00:13:36,080
About me.
Say something nice.

255
00:13:37,170 --> 00:13:39,200
Of course. Yes.

256
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,070
Ahem.

257
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,080
It's a great honor
to be able to tell you

258
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,050
what a kind and generous person
señor  Hernando is.

259
00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:48,010
And furthermore...
Thank you, Sister.

260
00:13:48,010 --> 00:13:50,160
There, you have heard it
from the horse's mouth.

261
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,070
Forgive me, Sister.

262
00:13:52,070 --> 00:13:54,130
I hope you
will vote accordingly.

263
00:13:54,130 --> 00:13:56,100
You have brought
the check, Sister?

264
00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:58,030
Well,
may-maybe you'd rather wait

265
00:13:58,030 --> 00:14:00,150
until you're finished
with your little meeting.

266
00:14:00,150 --> 00:14:01,210
On the contrary!

267
00:14:01,210 --> 00:14:03,110
I want all my constituents

268
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,100
to witness
our little transaction.

269
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,140
Uh...

270
00:14:06,140 --> 00:14:09,010
I'd like to explain
what happened to it.

271
00:14:09,010 --> 00:14:10,120
What could happen to it

272
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:13,050
safe and snug
in your little purse?

273
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,100
Intermission time.

274
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:26,080
And to while away
your waiting hours,

275
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:29,010
San Rafael's most
distinguished artist

276
00:14:29,010 --> 00:14:30,100
will play for you.

277
00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:32,060
Play, Jose.

278
00:14:35,190 --> 00:14:37,130
Play, Jose.

279
00:14:42,170 --> 00:14:46,150
Sisters, I'd like to
have your ears for a moment.

280
00:14:52,090 --> 00:14:55,050
Sisters, what kind
of a joke is this?

281
00:14:55,050 --> 00:14:57,130
Oh, it was no joke.
Especially trying to find you.

282
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:59,210
What has happened
to this check?

283
00:14:59,210 --> 00:15:01,140
Well, let me try
to explain to you.

284
00:15:01,140 --> 00:15:03,040
You see,
it fell in the fire

285
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,010
and the signature
burned off.

286
00:15:05,010 --> 00:15:06,230
And, of course,
a check isn't any good

287
00:15:06,230 --> 00:15:08,140
without a signature,
is it,  señor?

288
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:10,230
No, Sister, it is not.
[sniggers]

289
00:15:10,230 --> 00:15:14,160
[Jacqueline] So, if you don't mind,
you can give us a new check.

290
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:18,040
You want me to give you...

291
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,000
In other words, Sisters,

292
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,060
if my mind
is still functioning,

293
00:15:22,060 --> 00:15:26,040
I am going to give you
a check for 5000 dollars?

294
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:27,230
Thank you very much,
señor  Hernando.

295
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:29,120
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.

296
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,080
You'll be remembered
in our prayers.

297
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:33,160
And I won't forget you.
Never.

298
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:36,020
If you give us a new check
we'll be running along.

299
00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:38,160
I cannot give you
a new check.

300
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:39,190
Pardon?

301
00:15:39,190 --> 00:15:41,110
Come, let me explain
to you.

302
00:15:41,110 --> 00:15:43,230
You see, it is not
that I do not want to,

303
00:15:43,230 --> 00:15:45,110
or that you
do not deserve it,

304
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,230
I would not want you
to lose confidence in me.

305
00:15:47,230 --> 00:15:52,080
That would be disastrous,
especially right now.

306
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,160
Just exactly
what do you mean?

307
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:57,000
What do I mean?
Well, what do I mean?

308
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,100
Yes, what I mean is

309
00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:00,090
I cannot give you
a new check

310
00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:02,040
until the old check
is canceled.

311
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,100
Well, that's practically
canceled right now.

312
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:06,190
Yes, we could just tear it up.
Right up.

313
00:16:06,190 --> 00:16:09,070
No, no, no. I'm afraid
that would make shambles

314
00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:10,150
of my bookkeeping system,

315
00:16:10,150 --> 00:16:13,080
but we will
work something out.

316
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:15,110
What I will do
is transfer funds

317
00:16:15,110 --> 00:16:18,110
from my campaign account
to my joint account,

318
00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:20,030
which will take
a little time.

319
00:16:20,030 --> 00:16:21,050
How much time?

320
00:16:21,050 --> 00:16:23,070
A few days.

321
00:16:23,070 --> 00:16:25,020
Until I'm elected Mayor.

322
00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:27,200
At which time,
Sisters, believe me,

323
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:31,000
I will be writing checks
all over the place.

324
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,120
Thank you very much.

325
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:35,120
You are very welcome.
And here is your old check.

326
00:16:36,170 --> 00:16:38,010
What'll we do with it?

327
00:16:39,090 --> 00:16:41,060
Let me not keep you
from your duties.

328
00:16:41,060 --> 00:16:43,050
Thank you so much.
Thank you for coming.

329
00:16:43,050 --> 00:16:45,120
And do not worry,
you will hear from me,

330
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:47,030
I promise.

331
00:16:47,030 --> 00:16:48,110
Goodbye.

332
00:16:59,110 --> 00:17:03,120
Sisters, there is nothing
to be concerned about.

333
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:06,010
I am certain
that  señor  Hernando

334
00:17:06,010 --> 00:17:07,110
will keep his word.

335
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:09,200
In fact,
he just telephoned me

336
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,110
a few moments ago,

337
00:17:11,110 --> 00:17:13,020
just before you returned.

338
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:14,120
He did?
Yes.

339
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,020
He said that he is
on his way

340
00:17:16,020 --> 00:17:17,220
over here right now.

341
00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:19,100
He is?

342
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:21,230
That's the fastest
transfer of funds in history.

343
00:17:21,230 --> 00:17:23,200
Especially
with banks closed.

344
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,130
He couldn't have been
elected Mayor already?

345
00:17:26,130 --> 00:17:28,030
Well, it's
a very small town.

346
00:17:28,030 --> 00:17:30,150
3500 souls,
260 donkeys.

347
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:33,160
Well, in any case,
he will be here momentarily.

348
00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:40,100
While we were preparing

349
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,050
for the arrival
of  señor  Hernando,

350
00:17:42,050 --> 00:17:43,170
we were too busy to notice

351
00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:45,080
the arrival
of  señor  Hernando.

352
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,100
Although even
if we had noticed him,

353
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,040
we wouldn't have noticed him.

354
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,000
Does that sound confusing?

355
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,090
It was.

356
00:17:52,090 --> 00:17:54,070
Oh, yes,  señor  Hernando,

357
00:17:54,070 --> 00:17:56,230
we plan to do all sorts
of wonderful things

358
00:17:56,230 --> 00:17:59,090
for the Convent
with your generous donation.

359
00:17:59,090 --> 00:18:01,120
That is why I dropped by,
Reverend Mother,

360
00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:03,110
to see that all was well.

361
00:18:03,110 --> 00:18:06,050
Well, uh,
now that you are here,

362
00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:08,160
I am sure that
everything will be well.

363
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:11,230
What happened to it?

364
00:18:11,230 --> 00:18:14,150
I thought that
Sister Bertrille explained.

365
00:18:14,150 --> 00:18:17,020
Sister Bertrille?
Who is...?

366
00:18:17,020 --> 00:18:18,020
[phone ringing]

367
00:18:18,020 --> 00:18:19,160
Excuse me.

368
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,010
Hello?

369
00:18:22,010 --> 00:18:23,100
Oh, yes, Your Excellency.

370
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:25,070
Reverend Mother,
have you seen

371
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:26,210
the  San Rafael Herald?

372
00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:28,100
Not recently, no.

373
00:18:28,100 --> 00:18:29,160
Is there something in it

374
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:31,070
that would be
of interest to me?

375
00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:33,060
Reverend Mother,
my capacity

376
00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:35,050
is strictly advisory.

377
00:18:35,050 --> 00:18:37,230
However,
do you think it's wise

378
00:18:37,230 --> 00:18:40,130
to involve the Convent
in local politics?

379
00:18:40,130 --> 00:18:43,010
Your Excellency,
I-I am not certain

380
00:18:43,010 --> 00:18:45,130
that I know exactly
what you are talking about.

381
00:18:45,130 --> 00:18:47,210
Well, then,
let me read this to you.

382
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:51,230
"San Tanco Sisters support
Honest Juan Hernando."

383
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:53,090
What?

384
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:57,200
Honest Juan Hernando
has a reputation

385
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,110
for being
a little less than honest.

386
00:19:00,110 --> 00:19:03,040
Why, that is dreadful.

387
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,180
He is simply an opportunist.

388
00:19:05,180 --> 00:19:08,120
And he'll do almost
anything to get elected.

389
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,180
I only wish you
could see him in action.

390
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:15,180
Your Excellency,
I am seeing him in action.

391
00:19:15,180 --> 00:19:17,190
And while I don't know
how you,

392
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,200
uh, got involved
with this man,

393
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,040
but my advice is...

394
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:24,000
Your Excellency, I know exactly
how we got involved.

395
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:28,020
And I will take care
of this matter immediately.

396
00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:29,170
And thank you,
Your Excellency,

397
00:19:29,170 --> 00:19:32,090
for calling us.
Good day.

398
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,140
Señor  Hernando,

399
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:38,110
we do not want
your check.

400
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:39,230
You don't?

401
00:19:39,230 --> 00:19:43,110
No. Now I know why
you gave us a donation

402
00:19:43,110 --> 00:19:46,040
of 5000 dollars.
You do?

403
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,180
Señor  Hernando, you should be
ashamed of yourself

404
00:19:48,180 --> 00:19:51,020
for what you have done.
What did I do?

405
00:19:51,020 --> 00:19:52,090
That telephone call was

406
00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:54,060
from His Excellency,
the Bishop.

407
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:55,180
Yes, yes.

408
00:19:55,180 --> 00:19:58,120
It was about you,
Señor  Hernando.

409
00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:00,080
He explained everything.

410
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,200
Reverend Mother,
I have committed

411
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,140
a sin or two
in my lifetime, but...

412
00:20:03,140 --> 00:20:05,060
Señor  Hernando,
there is one sin

413
00:20:05,060 --> 00:20:07,040
which exceeds
all others in perfidy.

414
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:08,100
And that is the sin

415
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:10,070
of attempting
to bribe the church.

416
00:20:10,070 --> 00:20:11,190
Señor  Hernando, you are

417
00:20:11,190 --> 00:20:14,180
a self-serving,
heartless, evil man.

418
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:18,060
Reverend Mother!
Good day,  señor  Hernando.

419
00:20:24,060 --> 00:20:26,160
Well, the meat's cooking,
the table's set.

420
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:27,200
And who was that man?

421
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,190
Why that was
your good, kind,

422
00:20:29,190 --> 00:20:31,100
generous  señor  Hernando.

423
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:33,090
Oh, no. It wasn't
our good, kind,

424
00:20:33,090 --> 00:20:34,160
generous  señor  Hernando.

425
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,010
It is not?
No.

426
00:20:36,010 --> 00:20:38,030
Our good, kind,
generous  Señor  Hernando

427
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:39,210
is a short man
with a mustache.

428
00:20:41,210 --> 00:20:42,170
So, who was that?

429
00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:45,190
That was
my good, kind,

430
00:20:45,190 --> 00:20:48,130
generous  señor  Hernando.

431
00:20:48,130 --> 00:20:50,200
The real one, I presume.

432
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:54,020
And I just gave him
his 5000 dollars

433
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,220
and a piece of my mind.

434
00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:56,230
[engine starts]

435
00:20:56,230 --> 00:20:59,210
Quickly, Sisters.
Before he leaves.

436
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:05,150
No apologies,
Sisters, please.

437
00:21:05,150 --> 00:21:08,010
I understand perfectly.

438
00:21:13,090 --> 00:21:15,130
Señor  Hernando,
the Sisters

439
00:21:15,130 --> 00:21:17,190
have explained
the misunderstanding?

440
00:21:17,190 --> 00:21:19,190
Oh, we would not
have wanted you to leave

441
00:21:19,190 --> 00:21:21,110
under such circumstances.

442
00:21:21,110 --> 00:21:23,160
Why, with a name
as common as mine,

443
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:24,220
anything can happen.

444
00:21:24,220 --> 00:21:26,200
Then you bear us
no ill will?

445
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,090
Of course not,
Reverend Mother.

446
00:21:28,090 --> 00:21:29,170
Now, if you'll excuse me.

447
00:21:29,170 --> 00:21:31,050
Won't you stay for dinner?

448
00:21:31,050 --> 00:21:33,130
Yes, we have some
fantastic brandied peaches.

449
00:21:33,130 --> 00:21:34,230
90 proof.
And a lovely roast.

450
00:21:34,230 --> 00:21:36,130
Rarely done.
Done rare, Sister.

451
00:21:36,130 --> 00:21:38,040
Thank you,
but I must be going.

452
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,180
[sisters chattering]

453
00:21:39,180 --> 00:21:41,100
Aren't you
forgetting something?

454
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,050
Oh, of course. My hat.

455
00:21:43,050 --> 00:21:45,080
And your check?
No.

456
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:46,140
I beg your pardon?

457
00:21:46,140 --> 00:21:48,010
The Reverend Mother
was right.

458
00:21:48,010 --> 00:21:50,020
The Reverend Mother was wrong,
whatever she said.

459
00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:52,190
Yes, actually, you do
understand,  Señor  Hernando,

460
00:21:52,190 --> 00:21:55,130
that I was referring
to another scoundrel.

461
00:21:55,130 --> 00:21:57,160
Another  señor  Hernando.

462
00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:00,160
It does not matter.
You hit on the truth.

463
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:03,010
My life has been
anything but pure.

464
00:22:03,010 --> 00:22:07,130
I have become wealthy
in ways I am not proud of.

465
00:22:07,130 --> 00:22:09,080
My money's tainted.

466
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:12,020
Could I ask you
to accept that?

467
00:22:12,020 --> 00:22:14,210
Well, if you happen to run
across any untainted money,

468
00:22:14,210 --> 00:22:16,230
will you keep us in mind?
Sister Bertrille.

469
00:22:16,230 --> 00:22:18,160
I was thinking
of his conscience.

470
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:22,000
As a matter of fact, yes.
Yes, I have.

471
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,130
Five years ago,

472
00:22:23,130 --> 00:22:25,130
I bought a piece of land,

473
00:22:25,130 --> 00:22:28,160
and sold it a year later
for a handsome profit.

474
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:31,160
It was a clean,
no monkey-business transaction.

475
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:35,040
That profit,
I would be glad to donate.

476
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:36,140
Oh, thank you.

477
00:22:36,140 --> 00:22:38,210
Thank you very much,
señor  Hernando.

478
00:22:40,090 --> 00:22:44,180
The check
is for 100 dollars.

479
00:22:46,210 --> 00:22:50,230
Thank you.
Thank you.

480
00:22:50,230 --> 00:22:53,170
Not at all.
Good day, and thank you.

481
00:22:53,170 --> 00:22:56,170
God be with you.
Goodbye. Goodbye.

482
00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:04,040
Well, Sisters,

483
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,140
there's a great deal
that can be done

484
00:23:06,140 --> 00:23:07,200
with 100 dollars.

485
00:23:09,030 --> 00:23:11,100
We could always plunge it
into the campaign

486
00:23:11,100 --> 00:23:13,130
against Juan Hernando,
the crook.

487
00:23:19,190 --> 00:23:23,070
But I thought I was
the real Juan Hernando.

488
00:23:23,070 --> 00:23:25,090
I mean,
all my life I have been

489
00:23:25,090 --> 00:23:28,030
the real Juan Hernando.

490
00:23:28,030 --> 00:23:30,200
And now, suddenly,
I am no longer

491
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,050
the real Juan Hernando
anymore.

492
00:23:33,050 --> 00:23:36,140
Certainly not the Juan
who sent us the check.

493
00:23:36,140 --> 00:23:39,100
Well, is-is that my fault?

494
00:23:40,190 --> 00:23:43,170
Why didn't you
tell us the truth?

495
00:23:43,170 --> 00:23:45,210
In front
of my constituents?

496
00:23:45,210 --> 00:23:48,010
I'm a politician,
not a martyr.

497
00:23:48,010 --> 00:23:50,100
You're going to have to
call the newspapers

498
00:23:50,100 --> 00:23:52,050
and tell them it was
a misunderstanding.

499
00:23:52,050 --> 00:23:54,140
Well, it was as much
your misunderstanding

500
00:23:54,140 --> 00:23:55,210
as it was mine.

501
00:23:55,210 --> 00:23:58,120
Why should I be
the only one to suffer?

502
00:24:02,230 --> 00:24:04,220
[inaudible]

503
00:24:09,060 --> 00:24:11,150
We've reached a compromise.

504
00:24:13,110 --> 00:24:15,150
Yes, and so, my friends,

505
00:24:15,150 --> 00:24:18,150
with the help
of the good Sisters here,

506
00:24:18,150 --> 00:24:22,130
we have developed
a marvelous platform.

507
00:24:22,130 --> 00:24:24,200
And so,
I want to promise you,

508
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:28,000
that if I am elected
Mayor of our fair city,

509
00:24:29,020 --> 00:24:31,090
that I will not

510
00:24:31,090 --> 00:24:33,130
do away
with all of the taxes.

511
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,150
And I promise you also

512
00:24:38,150 --> 00:24:42,140
that you could forget
about the super highway.

513
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,110
And you could forget
about the new bridges

514
00:24:46,110 --> 00:24:48,010
and the stadiums...

515
00:24:48,010 --> 00:24:50,090
Señor  Hernando,
un momento,  tell us,

516
00:24:50,090 --> 00:24:52,160
just what would you do
if you are elected?

517
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:56,040
I will go to church
every day of my life

518
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,050
and give thanks

519
00:24:58,050 --> 00:25:01,050
because if I am elected,

520
00:25:01,050 --> 00:25:04,060
I will be
the most surprised man

521
00:25:04,060 --> 00:25:05,220
in all of Puerto Rico.

522
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,190
♪♪

523
00:25:52,679 --> 00:25:54,679
[end credits]

524
00:25:54,729 --> 00:25:59,279
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